Concerning Widows

Therefore a widow is defined not by bodily abstinence alone, but is marked out by virtue: to whom precepts are given not by me, but the Apostle bestows them. Not I alone confer honor upon her, but the Doctor of the Gentiles conferred it first, saying: Honor widows that are widows indeed. But if any widow have children or grandchildren, let her learn first to rule her own house, and to make a return of duty to her parents. Whence it is noted also that a widow ought to have both affections of piety, so that she loves her children, and shows deference to her parents. Thus while she pays homage to her parents, she exercises teaching authority over her children, and by her very office rewards herself, since what she pays to others benefits herself.

8. For this, he says, is acceptable before God; therefore, widow, if you consider the things that are God's, you ought to follow what you have learned pleases God.

And indeed above, the holy Apostle, exhorting widows to the pursuit of continence, said that they think on the things of the Lord. But elsewhere, where a widow is chosen who has been approved, she is bidden not only to think, but even to hope in the Lord: For she that is truly a widow, he says, and desolate, let her trust in God, and continue in supplications and prayers night and day. And not without reason does he show that these must be irreproachable, upon whom, just as the task of virtue is enjoined, so also ample honor is bestowed, so that they are honored even by bishops.

9. But of what sort she ought to be chosen is described in the very words of the Teacher: Let her not, he says, be less than sixty years old, who has been the wife of one man. Not that old age alone makes a widow, but that the merits of widowhood are the wages of old age.

For truly that woman is more excellent who tames the heat of youth, and the fervent ardor of a younger age; desiring neither the favor of a husband, nor the richer delights of children: than one who, her body already spent, chilled by old age, mature in years, can neither grow warm with pleasures, nor hope for childbearing.

10. On Second Marriage and Widowhood

Nor indeed, if any woman should fall into a second marriage, which certainly the apostolic precepts do not condemn, is she, as though having forfeited the fruit of modesty, if she be again released from a husband, thereby excluded from the affection of widowhood. She will have indeed the merit even of a late chastity, but more approved will be she who has not known the marriage of a second man; for in the one the pursuit of chastity stands out: in the other, either old age or shame seems to have set a limit to marrying.

11. The Widow's Works of Mercy and Hospitality

Nor is bodily chastity alone the strength of a widow, but a great and most abundant discipline of virtue: Who has testimony in good works, if she have brought up children, if she have received strangers to lodge, if she have washed the feet of the saints, if she have ministered to those in tribulation, if, finally, she have diligently followed every good work. You see how many disciplines of virtue he has comprised: first, the office of piety; second, the pursuit of hospitality and the homage of humility: third, the ministry of mercy and the support of liberality: in sum, he demanded the pursuit of every good in deed.

12. Younger Widows and the Peril of Youth

And therefore he thinks younger widows are to be avoided, because they cannot fulfill the labor of so great a virtue. For youth is near to falls, since it is inflamed by the fervor of various desires in the heat of a burning age: and it is the mark of a good teacher to keep away the material of sin. For the first discipline of instruction is to turn away fault, the second to instill virtue. Yet since the Apostle knew that that Anna, a widow of eighty years from her youth, had stood forth as a herald of the works of the Lord, I do not think that he intended younger women to be called back from the affection of widowhood, especially since he said: It is better to marry than to burn.

For indeed he counseled marriage as a remedy, that what was perishing might be healed: he did not prescribe it as a matter of choice, lest one who is continent should pursue chastity instead; for it is one thing to come to the aid of one who is falling, another to urge a virtue.

13. God's Justice for Widows and Orphans

And what shall I say of human judgments, when it is declared that in nothing did the Jews more gravely offend the Lord by divine judgments, than in this, that they cried out against the grace due to the widow and the lesser ones, which brought upon the Jews the merit of rejection. This alone is recorded as the cause of the offense that would mitigate His displeasure, if the widow be honored, and the justice of an equal judgment be shown to the lesser ones; for thus you have it: Judge for the fatherless, and justify the widow, and come, let us plead together, saith the Lord. And elsewhere: He shall relieve the fatherless and widow. And elsewhere: Blessing I will bless her widow. In which the figure of the Church also is prefigured. You see, therefore, holy widows, that this office, honored by the aids of divine blessing, must in no wise be abandoned through slippery indifference.

14. Three Years of Famine and the Barren Fig Tree

What indeed of this, to return to what went before, that when there was a very great famine in all the land, care was nevertheless not lacking to God for a widow, and a prophet was sent to feed her? In this, since the Lord admonishes me that He is about to speak in truth, He seems to be stirring our ears toward a mystery. For what can be truer to the mystery of Christ and the Church? It is not, therefore, without purpose that one is preferred among many widows. For what sort of woman was she to whom so great a prophet, one who was caught up into heaven, was sent, especially at that time when heaven was shut for three years and six months, when there was a great famine over all the land? Everywhere, then, there was famine, and yet still this widow was not in want. What are these three years?

Perhaps those in which the Lord came into the earth, and could not find fruit on the fig tree, according to what is written: Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none.

15. The Barren Widow Who Shall Rejoice

This surely is that widow of whom it is said: Rejoice, thou barren, that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not; for many are the children of the desolate, more than of her that hath a husband. And well is she called a widow, to whom it is well said: Thou shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood; for I am the Lord who make thee. And perhaps she is therefore a widow, because she indeed lost her Husband, according to the passion of the body; but on the day of judgment she will receive back the Son of man whom she seemed to have lost: For a small moment, He says, have I forsaken thee; that, being forsaken, she might keep her faith the more gloriously.

16. Gideon's Fleece and the Dew of the Word

Therefore all have an example which they may imitate: virgins, married women, and widows. And perhaps for this reason the Church is virgin, married, and widow, because they are one body in Christ. This, then, is that widow on whose account, when there was on earth a dryness of the heavenly word, prophets were sent; for she was a widow who was barren, but was reserving her offspring for its own time. Whence that person also seems to us no ordinary one, who watered the dry earth of the word with heavenly dew, and unlocked the closed heaven, certainly not by human power. For who is it that can open heaven, except Christ, for whom daily the harvest of the Church, the food gathered from sinners, is stored up? For it is not within human capacity to say: The jar of meal shall not fail, and the vessel of oil shall not fail, until the day when the Lord shall give rain upon the earth.

For although it is customary for the prophets to preface their words thus, yet this is truly the voice of God. Hence it is prefaced: Because thus says the Lord; for it belongs to the Lord to pledge the perpetuity of the heavenly sacraments, and to promise a grace of spiritual exultation that will not fail, to grant the defenses of life, the seals of faith, the gifts of virtues. But what is this: Until that day when the Lord shall give rain upon the earth; except that he shall come down like rain upon the fleece, and like drops falling upon the earth?

In this the mystery of the ancient history is unlocked, by which holy Gideon, the warrior of the mystical contest, grasping the emblem of future victory, recognized with the vigor of his mind the spiritual sacrament, that that rain was the dew of the divine Word: which first rained upon the fleece, when all the earth was parched with perpetual drought; but the second time, by a sign for the whole earth, it moistened the threshing-floor with poured-out rain, while the fleece remained dry (Judges 6:37-40). For the man of foreknowledge perceived the emblem of the future growing Church. For first the dew of the divine word began to grow moist within Judea (for God is known in Judea), while the whole earth remained dry of faith of the whole world.

But when the flocks of Joseph began to deny God, and by various daring of monstrous crimes to incur the offense of the Godhead, then, with the dew of heavenly rain poured out through all lands, the people of the Jews began to dry up in the heat of their faithlessness, while prophetic clouds and the apostolic shower of salvation watered the holy Church gathered together from all parts of the earth. This is that rain, not condensed from the moisture of the earth, nor from the mists of the mountains, but the wholesome shower of the heavenly Scriptures poured out through the whole world.

20. Divine Miracles Reserved for the Devout

It is shown, therefore, by this example, that it is not the lot of all to deserve the miracles of divine power, but of those whom the zeal of religious devotion supports; and that those are excluded from the fruit of the divine work who are without heavenly reverence. It is shown also in mystery, that for the restoring of the Church, the Son of God took upon Himself the sacraments of a human body, the people of the Jews being rejected, for whom He was Counsellor and Prophet, and the miracles of the Lord's benefits taken away from them: because by a certain civic taint of envy they were unwilling to believe in the Son of God.

21. Anna the Widow Who Never Left the Temple

Scripture, then, has taught how much grace this comparison confers, and how great a gift of divine blessing exists in widows. And since so great an honor is bestowed upon them by God, it is fitting to observe what kind of life ought to correspond to it: for Anna teaches what kind of widows are proper, who, though deprived by the untimely death of her husband, nevertheless found the sweetness of mature praise, being intent no less upon the duty of religion than upon the pursuit of chastity. A widow, it says, of eighty-four years, a widow who did not depart from the temple, a widow who served in fastings and prayers day and night.

22. Anna's Widowhood from Youth to Old Age

You see what sort of widow is praised: the wife of one husband, proved also by the progress of age, lively in religion though already worn out in body; whose lodging was in the temple, whose conversation was in prayer, whose life was in fasting; who, through the seasons of days and nights, in the unwearied service of devotion, though she recognized the old age of her body, yet knew no old age of piety. Thus a widow is trained from youth, thus she is praised in a venerable old age: one who has kept her widowhood not by the occasion of time, not by weakness of body, but by magnanimity of virtue. For indeed, when it says that she was with her husband seven years from her virginity, it proclaims the supports of old age begun from the pursuits of adolescence.

23. The Three Kinds of Chastity in the Church

We are taught, then, that the virtue of chastity is threefold: one conjugal, another of widowhood, a third of virginity; for we do not so praise the one as to exclude the others. Each of these is suited to its own profession. In this consists the rich discipline of the Church, that she has those whom she prefers, and does not have those whom she rejects—and would that she might never be able to have them! Thus, then, we have praised virginity in such a way as not to reject widows; thus we honor widows in such a way that its own honor is reserved to marriage. It is not our precepts that teach this, but divine testimonies.

24. Where the Married, the Widow, and the Virgin Dwelt

Let us recall, then, how Mary, how Anna, how Susanna are praised. But since not only their praises are to be proclaimed, but also their disciplines are to be followed, let us recall where Susanna, where Anna, where Mary were found; and let us note how each is proclaimed with fitting praises, and where she dwelt: the married woman in paradise, the widow in the temple, the virgin in seclusion.

25. Virginity's Timeless Fruit and Mary's Devotion

But in those the fruit is slower, in the virgin more mature: old age approves the former; virginity is the praise of an age of its own, nor does it seek the aids of years, being itself the fruit of every age. It becomes adolescence, adorns youth, enlarges old age; and at every age it has the gray hairs of its own justice, the maturity of gravity, the veil of modesty, which may not hinder devotion, but increase religion. For we observe from what follows that every year, on the solemn day of Passover, holy Mary with Joseph would go up to Jerusalem. Everywhere untiring devotion, everywhere the constant companion of modesty is joined to the Virgin. Nor is the Mother of the Lord puffed up, as though secure in her merits; but the more she recognized her merit, the more abundantly she paid her vow, the more copiously she rendered her duty, the more religiously she carried out her office, the more fully she fulfilled the mystical season.

26. The Widow's Chastity Proved by Her Conduct

How much more, then, is it fitting for you to be intent upon the pursuit of chastity, lest you leave room for sinister opinion, you who have the testimony of chastity in your morals alone! For the virgin, although in her too there is a greater prerogative of morals than of body, nevertheless disclaims calumny by the integrity of the flesh; the widow, who has lost the aid of proving her virginity, has the test of chastity not in the voice of a midwife, but in her own morals. Scripture has therefore taught how attentive and religious an affection is owed to the widow.

27. The Poor Widow Who Gave More Than the Rich

It has also taught in the same book, but in another place, how merciful and generous toward the poor it is fitting to be, and that one ought not to be held back by consideration of poverty; because generosity is defined not by the amount of one's patrimony, but by the affection of bountifulness. Indeed, by the Lord's own voice, that widow is preferred above all, of whom it is said: This widow has put in more than all. In which the Lord morally instructs all, that no one be held back from the offering of ministry by the shame of poverty; nor let the rich flatter themselves that they seem to contribute more than the poor. For a coin from a little is richer than a treasure from very much; because it is not how much is given, but how much remains, that is weighed. No one gives more than she who has left nothing for herself.

28. Rivers, Jars, and the Measure of True Giving

Why do you, rich one, boast of yourself by comparison with the needy? And while you are loaded all over with gold, dragging a costly garment over the ground, do you desire to be honored as though you, small compared with your riches, had conquered the poor woman by your contribution? Rivers too overflow when they are in flood; yet a draught from a little stream is more pleasant. Musts also foam while they seethe, nor does the farmer count as loss what has flowed over. When the threshing-floors groan as the harvest is cut, grain leaps down; but when the harvests fail, the jar of meal does not fail, and the full jar of oil sweats out. Yet drought emptied the jars of the rich, while the widow's little store of oil overflowed. Therefore it is not what you spit out in disdain, but how much you contribute in devotion, that is to be reckoned. Indeed, no woman gave more than she who fed the prophet from the food of her children.

And therefore, because none contributed more, none deserved more. This is the moral sense.

29. The Two Coins as the Two Testaments

Nor should you, however, in mystical sense, despise this woman casting two coins into the treasury. Plainly a great woman, who by divine judgment deserved to be preferred above all. Perhaps she is the one who, out of her faith, contributed two testaments to the aid of men; and therefore none did more. Nor could anyone among men equal the measure of her contribution, who joined faith with mercy. And you also, therefore, whoever you are who live out your life in the pursuit of widowhood, do not hesitate to bring two coins to the treasury, whether full of faith or of grace.

30. The Widow's Treasure of Faith and Labor

Happy is she who brings forth from her treasure the whole image of the King. Your treasure is wisdom, your treasure is chastity and justice, your treasure is good understanding: as it were that treasure, of which the men of great worth, when they adored the Lord, brought forth gold, frankincense, and myrrh: declaring by gold the power of a king, venerating God by frankincense, confessing by myrrh the resurrection of the body. You too have this treasure, if you seek it in yourself.

For we have a treasure in earthen vessels. You have gold that you may contribute; for God does not exact from you the price of glittering metal, but that gold which on the day of judgment the fire cannot burn up. Nor does He demand costly gifts, but the fragrance of faith, which the altars of your heart may exhale, and the affection of a religious mind may breathe forth. From this treasure, then, are brought forth not only the three gifts of the Magi, but also the two coins of the widow, in which the whole heavenly image of the King may shine forth, the splendor of His glory, and the image of His substance.

Good too are those laborious wages of chastity, plainly, which a widow contributes from her own work and her daily task, exercising her tasks with continual labor equally in nights and days, and gathering the reward of profitable chastity by wakeful toil; that she may keep undefiled the bed of her deceased husband, may be able to nourish her dear children, may minister to the poor. This woman is to be preferred to the rich: this is she who will not fear the judgment of Christ. Emulate her, daughters: for it is good to be zealous in what is good. Be zealous for the better gifts. The Lord always watches you; He watches, I say, Jesus, when He approaches the treasury, and you think that an alms of good works is to be contributed to the needy. How much, then, does it mean that you should bring your coins, and acquire the body of Christ!

Do not, then, go forth empty into the sight of the Lord your God, empty of mercy, empty of faith, empty of chastity; for the Lord is accustomed to behold and praise, not those who are empty, but those rich in virtues. Let the young girl see you laboring, let her see you ministering. For this is the reward you owe to God, that from the progress of others also you may bring your reward to God. No reward is better to God than that which has the gifts of piety.

Or does that widow seem to you of little account, who fed her widowhood by gleaning the sheaves of another's harvest, whom, heavy with age, her daughter-in-law nourished? For this also serves both the support and the grace of widows, that they so train their daughters-in-law, that in them, when mature, they may have the support of old age; and, as it were a wage for their instruction, may also receive the reward of their own discipline. For she who has well trained, well instructed her daughter-in-law, will not lack a Ruth, one who would prefer her mother-in-law's widowhood to her paternal home; and even if her husband too should die, she does not abandon her, but nourishes the needy one, consoles the mourning one, and does not depart when dismissed: for the best training knows not want.

Thus that Naomi, bereft of both her sons and her husband, who had lost the fruits of fecundity, did not lose the profits of piety; for she found both the comfort of her grief and the support of her poverty.

34. The Fruitfulness of a Widow's Virtues

You see, then, holy women, how fruitful a widow is in the offspring of virtues, in the progeny of her own merits, which cannot perish. A good widow, therefore, does not know how to be in want: and even if she be worn with age and reduced to the utmost poverty, she nevertheless generally has the wages of her own good training. Even if kin be lacking, she still finds strangers who honor her as a mother, revere her as a parent, and desire, at small cost of sustenance, to acquire for themselves the reward of her commendation; for the merits of a widow repay more. For she seeks food, she expends cost.

35. The Widow's Tears and Their Reward

But she seems to lead sad days, and to spend her time in tears. She is the more blessed for this, that she purchases for herself perpetual joys with a few tears, and acquires eternal times with small moments. To such it is well said: Blessed are ye that are sad, for ye shall laugh. Who then would prefer the false images of present joys to the pleasure of future security? Or does that author of the Lord's body seem to us contemptible, who was chosen, who ate ashes like bread, and mingled his drink with weeping, and by evening tears acquired for himself the joy of morning redemption? Whence therefore did he deserve to rejoice the most, except because he wept the most, as though by the price of his own tears he purchased for himself the grace of future glory?

The widow, therefore, has good material for commendation, in that, while she puts to flight her husband, she weeps for the world: and let redeeming tears be at hand, which, while spent upon the dead, will profit the living. Weeping of the eyes is prepared for sadness of soul: it wins mercy, lessens labor, alleviates grief, preserves modesty; nor does she now seem wretched to herself, who has consolation in tears, in which are the wages of charity and the offices of piety.

37. Judith Frees a City Under Siege

But fortitude also has not been accustomed to be lacking in a good widow. For this is true fortitude, which by devotion of mind transcends the practice of nature and the weakness of sex: such as was in her whose name was Judith, who alone was able to recall from ruin, and to defend from the enemy, men broken by siege, struck with fear, wasted with hunger. For she, as we read, when Holophernes, terrible by the success of many battles, had shut up within the walls countless thousands of men, the armed men trembling and already treating of their extreme lot, went forth outside the wall; and was more excellent than that army which she freed, and stronger than that which she put to flight.

38. Judith's Mourning, Fasting, and Change of Garment

But that you may learn the disposition of mature widowhood, follow the very sequence of the Scriptures. For from the days of her husband, on which he died, she laid aside the garment of gladness, and took up that of mourning: through all days intent on fasting, save on the Sabbath, and the Lord's day, and the times of sacred feasts, indulging not in refreshment, but deferring to religion. For this is that, whether ye eat, or whether ye drink, all things are to be done in the name of Jesus Christ; so that even bodily refreshment itself should be deferred to the worship of sacred religion. Strengthened, therefore, by lasting sorrows and daily fastings, holy Judith, who seeks not the delights of the world, careless of danger, and stronger by contempt of death; that she might frame the devices of her stratagem, put on that garment of gladness with which she had been wont to be clothed while her husband lived (Judith, 2, 3): as though she would please a husband, if she should free her country.

But she looked to another husband, whom she sought to please; namely him of whom it is said: After me comes a man, who was made before me. And rightly, about to fight, did she resume conjugal adornments; for the memorials of marriage are the arms of chastity: nor indeed could a widow otherwise either please or conquer.

39. Judith Preserves Her Chastity Among Enemies

Why should we pursue the rest, that she remained chaste amid thousands of enemies? Why should we praise her wisdom, in that she devised a plan of this sort? She chose a powerful man, that she might keep intemperance from herself at the hands of one lesser, and prepare the occasion of victory. She preserved the merit of abstinence, the grace of chastity (Judith xii, 2). For, as we read, defiled neither by food nor by adultery, she brought back from the enemy no lesser triumph of preserved chastity than that of her freed country.

40. Judith's Sobriety Overcomes Drunken Soldiers

What shall I say of sobriety? For temperance is the virtue of women. From men made drunk with wine and buried in sleep the widow took away the sword, put forth her hand, cut off the head of the warrior, and passed through the midst of the enemy's ranks untouched (Judith xiii, 10-19). Do you see, then, how much drunkenness can harm men, when wines so loosen men that they are conquered by women? Be therefore, O widow, temperate: chaste first of all from wine, that you may be able to be chaste from adultery. He will by no means tempt you, if wine does not tempt you. For if Judith had drunk, she would have slept with the adulterer. But because she did not drink, the sobriety of one woman was able, without much difficulty, both to conquer and to elude drunken armies.

41. Judith's Counsel Conquers the Enemy Army

Nor was this only the work of her right hand, but the trophies of her wisdom were much greater. For while by her hand alone she had conquered Holophernes, by her counsel she conquered the whole army of the enemy. For the hanging up of Holophernes' head, which could not be devised by the counsel of men, raised the spirits of her own people, broke those of the enemy: rousing her own by shame, striking the enemy also with terror; and thereby they were slain and put to flight. Thus the temperance and sobriety of one widow not only conquered her own nature, but, what is more, made men also braver.

42. Judith Declines Remarriage After Her Victory

Yet not elated by these successes, though she might rightly have rejoiced and exulted by the right of victory, she did not abandon the office of widowhood: but scorning all who sought her in marriage, she laid aside the garment of gladness, and took up again that of widowhood; nor did she love the adornments of her triumphs, reckoning those better by which the vile things of the body, rather than the arms of enemies, are conquered.

43. Deborah's Rule and Barak's Reliance on Her

And lest it should seem to others that one widow alone fulfilled this inimitable work, one need by no means doubt that many others were of equal or nearly equal virtue; for a good crop is accustomed to bear very many ears filled with fruit. Nor should you doubt that that crop of ancient times has made fruitful the character of many women. But since it would be tedious to embrace all, learn of some, and especially of Deborah, whose virtue the Scripture has handed down to us (Judges IV, 4). For she taught not only that widows do not need the help of a husband, but that they can even be a help to husbands: who, not held back by the weakness of her sex, undertook the duties of men, and having undertaken them, increased them. Finally, when the Jews were ruled by the will of Judges, because they could not be ruled with manly equity, or defended with manly virtue, wars burning on every side, they chose for themselves Deborah, by whose judgment they should be ruled.

And so one widow both ruled many thousands of men in peace, and defended them from the enemy. Many Judges were there in Israel, but no woman judge before her: many Judges after Joshua, but no prophet. And therefore I think her judgment was chosen to be read, and I judge that her deeds were recorded, lest women be called back from the office of virtue by the weakness of the female sex. A widow rules peoples, a widow leads armies, a widow chooses leaders, a widow arranges wars, commands triumphs. Therefore nature is not guilty of blame, nor liable to weakness: it is not sex, but virtue, that makes the strong. And indeed in peace no complaint, no error of the woman is found: whereas many who were not slight sinners had existed as Judges to their people. But when the Canaanites, a nation fierce in battle, and rich with the abundance of successful resources, raised hostile spirits against the people of the Jews, a widow above the rest prepared the equipment of war.

And that you may learn that public forces were not dependent on domestic necessities, but rather that a public office was governed by domestic discipline, from her own house she brought forth her son as leader of the army, that you might recognize what a widow can do in forming a warrior: whom, as a mother, she trained; whom, as a Judge, she set over them; whom, as one strong, she instructed; whom, as a prophetess, she sent forth to certain victory. Finally, that the sum of victory was in the hand of a woman is taught by Barak, her son, saying: Unless you come with me, I will not go, for I do not know the day on which the Lord will direct his angel with me (Judges IV, 9). How great, then, was the virtue of that woman, to whom the leader of the army says: Unless you come, I will not go?

How great, I say, was the fortitude of the widow, who by no motherly affection called back her son from danger; nay rather urged her son with a mother's zeal toward victory, saying that the sum of victory lay in the hand of a woman?

47. Deborah's Prophecy and Victory for the Gentiles

Deborah, therefore, prophesied the outcome of the battle, Barak, when bidden, led forth the army: Jael won the triumph; for in Deborah this prophecy was active, who mystically revealed to us the rising of the Church that was to arise from the Gentiles, for whom triumph over the spiritual Sisera, that is, over the adversary powers, was to be sought. For us, therefore, the oracles of the prophets fought; for us those judgments and arms of the prophets conquered. And therefore not the people of the Jews, but Jael also sought victory over the enemy. Unhappy, then, is the people, who could not by virtue of faith pursue the enemy whom it had put to flight. And so through their fault salvation came to the Gentiles: through their sloth victory was preserved for us.

48. Jael's Defeat of Sisera Interpreted

Jael, therefore, laid Sisera low, whom nevertheless, under a shining leader—for this is what the interpretation of Barak signifies—the hand of the ancient Jews had put to flight; for often, as we read, heavenly aid was present to the Fathers through the prayers and merits of the prophets. But even then victory was being prepared for those against spiritual wickedness, to whom it is said in the Gospel: Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. Therefore the beginning of the victory was with our forefathers, its end is in the Church.

49. The Church's Spiritual Weapons Against the Enemy

But the Church conquers the adversary powers not with secular arms, but with spiritual arms, which are mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds, and the height of spiritual wickedness. And therefore the thirst of Sisera is quenched with a cup of milk (Judges IV, 19), because it is overcome by reason; for what is to us wholesome as food, this is to the adversary power lethal as weakness. The arms of the Church are faith, the arms of the Church is prayer, which conquers the adversary.

50. The History and Mystery of Deborah's Victory

Therefore, according to the history, to arouse the spirits of women, a woman judged, a woman disposed, a woman prophesied, a woman triumphed, and, mingled among the ranks of battle, taught men to serve as soldiers under a woman's command. But according to the mystical sense, it is the faith of the Church's warfare that is the victory.

51. Widows Have No Excuse for Inconstancy

You have not, therefore, women, any excuse by nature. You have not, widows, anything by which you can attribute your fickleness to the weakness of your sex, or to the loss of a husband's support. Sufficient protection is there for each one, if virtue be not lacking to the soul. And in widows themselves the frequent advance of age is a safeguard of modesty; and the very grief for a lost husband, the practice of work, the care of the household, the anxiety for children, are wont to keep off wanton lasciviousness harmful to modesty: and the mournful garb itself, the funeral pomp, the constant weeping, and the sadness impressed with furrowing wrinkles upon the mournful brow, presses down the eyes of the wanton, quenches lusts, turns away shameless glances. A good guardian of modesty is the grief of piety: no fault creeps in, if care be not lacking.

But perhaps someone will say that widowhood is bearable to her for whom prosperous things flow; but that widows in adversity are quickly broken, and easily succumb. Concerning this, although we are taught by experience itself that prosperous circumstances are more slippery for widows than serious ones, yet we are instructed by the examples of the Scriptures, that aids also are not wanting to the weaknesses of widows; and that divine and human help is more readily at hand for them than for others, if they train their sons well, and choose their sons-in-law well. Finally, when Simon's mother-in-law was held with great fevers, Peter and Andrew asked God for her: And standing over her, he commanded the fever, and it left her, and immediately rising she ministered to him.

54. Kinship Through Virtue Rather Than Blood

She was held, it says, by great fevers, and they asked him for her. And you too have kinsmen who might supplicate for you. You have the apostles as kinsmen, you have the martyrs as kinsmen, if in the very fellowship of devotion to the martyrs you also draw near by gifts of mercy; for he is a neighbor who shows mercy. Do you also show mercy, and you will be near to Peter. Not the tie of blood, but the kinship of virtue, makes neighbors; because we walk not in the flesh, but in the spirit. Love, then, the kinship of Peter, the relation of Andrew; that they may ask for you, and that your desires may withdraw. Struck by the word of God you will rise at once, you who were lying on the ground, that you may serve Christ. For our citizenship is in heaven, whence also we await the Savior, the Lord Jesus. For no one lying down serves Christ.

Serve the poor man, and you serve Christ: for what you have done to one of these, he says, you have done to me. You have, therefore, widows, help, if you choose such sons-in-law for yourselves, such patrons for your posterity, such kinsmen.

55. The Intercession of Angels and Martyrs

Peter and Andrew, therefore, asked for the widow. Would that there might exist someone who could so quickly ask for us, or at least those very ones who asked for their mother-in-law, Peter, and Andrew his brother; for then they were able to obtain for a relative, but now they can obtain for us, and for all. For you see that one bound by great sin is scarcely fit to pray for herself, or certainly to obtain for herself. Let her, therefore, bring other sinners to the physician. For the sick, unless the physician be invited to them by the prayers of others, cannot pray for themselves. The flesh is weak, the mind is sick, and hindered by the bonds of sins, cannot unfold a feeble step to the seat of that physician. The angels must be besought for us, who have been given to us for protection: the martyrs must be besought, whose patronage we seem to claim for ourselves by a certain pledge of the body.

They can ask for our sins, who have washed away with their own blood whatever sins, if any, they had; for these are the martyrs of God, our patrons, watchers of our life and of our deeds. Let us not be ashamed to employ them as intercessors for our weakness, since they themselves, even while overcoming them, knew the weaknesses of the body.

56. Seeking Intercessors and Fleeing Worldly Delights

Peter's mother-in-law, then, found those who would ask on her behalf. And you, widow, find those who plead on your behalf: press on with entreaties, persist in prayers, afflict your body as one dying daily, that by dying you may live again: flee delights, that even while sick you may be healed: for she who lives in delights is dead while she lives.

57. Widows Need Not Complain of Loneliness

The reason for marrying has been removed from you; you have those who intercede for you. Do not say: I am abandoned. That is the complaint of one about to marry. Do not say: I am alone. Chastity seeks solitude: modesty seeks privacy, immodesty seeks company. But you have business to attend to: you have an intercessor too. You fear an adversary: before the judge the Lord intervenes on your behalf, saying: Judge for the fatherless, and defend the widow.

58. Modesty as a Widow's True Patrimony

But you also wish to protect your patrimony. Modesty itself is a greater patrimony, which a widow governs better than a married woman. A servant has sinned. Forgive him; for it is better that you bear another's fault than betray your own. But you wish to marry. It is permitted. Mere will bears no crime. I do not ask the reason: why is it invented? If you think it honorable, confess it: if unfitting, be silent. Do not accuse God, do not accuse your kin, for lacking supports; would that the will itself were not lacking! Nor may you say you are consulting the interests of your children, from whom you snatch away their mother.

59. The Unseemliness of a Mother's Late Remarriage

There is also this: what wealth permits, age does not permit. Why are a mother's nuptials arranged in the midst of her daughters' weddings, and often after them? Why does a grown daughter learn to blush at her mother's bridegroom before her own? We have urged, I confess, that you change your garment, not that you take up the bridal veil: that you withdraw from the tomb, not that you prepare the bridal chamber. What does a new bride mean, coming after sons-in-law? How unseemly it is to have children younger than one's grandchildren!

60. Christ Visits the Humble and the Sick

But let us return to our purpose, and let us not, while grieving over the wounds of our own sins, abandon the physician: and while we heal others' sores, let us not heap up our own. This physician, then, is asked. Do not fear that, because the Lord is great, he might perhaps disdain to come to a sick woman; for he often comes to us from heaven: and he is accustomed to visit not only the rich, but also the poor and even the poor's little servants. He came now too, when asked, to Peter's mother-in-law, and standing over her, he commanded the fever, and it left her: and immediately she rose and ministered to them. As he is worthy of remembrance, so he is worthy of longing, worthy too of love—the Lord's affection of condescension toward each one, and his marvelous deeds. He does not disdain to visit widows, and to enter the narrow recesses of a lowly hut. As God he commands, as man he visits.

61. Believing in Christ Without Having Seen Him

Thanks be to the Gospel, through which even we who did not see with our own eyes Christ coming into this world, seem to be present with him, as we read his deeds; so that just as those to whom he drew near borrowed faith from that nearness, so he may draw near to us, as we believe in his deeds.

62. Christ's Healing by Word and by Touch

Do you see what kinds of healings he has? He commands the fever, he commands unclean spirits, elsewhere he himself lays on hands. Not only by word, then, but also by touch he was accustomed to heal the sick. And you too, then, who burn with the various desires of the world, whether captivated by some man's beauty or by money, ask Christ, call in the physician, extend your right hand to him, let the hand of God touch your inward parts, and let the grace of the heavenly Word search the inner veins of souls, let the right hand of God knock at the secret places of the heart. On others he smears clay upon their eyes, that they may see, and the Creator of all teaches us that we ought to be mindful of our nature, and to discern the lowliness of the body; for no one can see divine things more, except one who through consciousness of his own humility does not know how to be exalted.

Another is bidden to present himself to the priest, that he may be able to be rid forever of the trappings of leprosy. For only he can preserve the purity of mind and soul who knows how to present himself to that priest whom we have received as advocate for our sins, him indeed to whom it is said: Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedech.

63. No Delay in Christ's Healing

Nor should you fear any delay in healing. One who is healed by Christ knows no hindrance. It is only necessary that you apply the remedy you have received; for as soon as he gives the command, the blind man sees, the paralytic walks, the mute speaks, the deaf hears, the fevered woman ministers, the lunatic is freed. And you too, then, whoever languish unseemly from desire for some thing, beseech the Lord, bring faith, and fear no delay at all. Where prayer is present, the Word is present, desire is put to flight, lust departs. Nor should you fear the shame of confession; rather, presume upon its privilege: for she who before was laboring under bodily disease will at once begin to minister to Christ.

64. The Will as Source of Spiritual Posterity

In this passage also one may see, in Peter's mother-in-law, an affection of the will, from which she had, as it were, taken up a seed of future posterity; for one's own will is the author of one's posterity. For from will wisdom is born, whom the wise man takes to himself in marriage, saying: I purposed to take her to me for a wife. Therefore that will, which at first, soaked in the heats of various desires, lay languishing, afterward, through the office of apostleship, rose up strong into the ministry of Christ.

65. The Priest Must Be Clean to Minister

At the same time it is shown of what sort he ought to be who ministers to Christ; for he must first be free of the enticements of various pleasures, avoid the inward languor of body and soul, so that he may minister the body and blood of Christ. For no one who is sick with his own sins, and by no means whole, can minister the remedies of immortal healing. See what you do, priest, and do not touch the body of Christ with a feverish hand. First be cured, that you may be able to minister. If Christ bids those who had been lepers, once made clean, go to meet the priests, how much more fitting is it that the priest himself be clean! That widow, then, has no cause for grievance that I have not spared her, since I do not spare myself either.

66. Peter's Mother-in-Law Rises to Minister

So then, it says, Peter's mother-in-law rose, and ministered to them. And rightly did she rise; for by apostolic grace already she was ministering a type of the sacrament. Now it is proper to Christ's ministers to rise, according to what is written: Awake, thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead.

67. Widows Have No Pressing Need to Remarry

We say, therefore, that widows are not in need of resources, they who have been accustomed to give: nor of assistance, they by whose means, often, in the greatest dangers, the resources of men have been defended: that the marital duties, too, are readily made good to them by kinsmen or by relatives: that the divine mercy is also more ready toward them; and therefore, since the cause for marrying does not seem to be pressing, the desire for it ought to be absent.

68. Counsel, Not Command, on Second Marriages

What we say, however, we say by way of counsel, not as a command we impose, rather encouraging the widow than binding her; for we do not forbid second marriages, but we do not urge them. For contemplation of weakness is one thing, the grace of chastity another. I say more: we do not forbid second marriages, but we do not approve of ones often repeated; for not everything that is lawful is expedient: All things are lawful to me, says the Apostle, but not all things are profitable. And it is lawful to drink wine, yet it is not fitting to drink it in great quantity.

69. Marriage as a Mutual Bond of Servitude

It is lawful, then, to marry, but it is more beautiful to abstain; for there are bonds of marriage. Do you wish to know what bonds? A woman who is under a husband is bound by law while her husband lives: but if her husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. It is proven, then, that marriage is a bond, by which a woman is bound and loosed. Good is the grace of mutual love, but greater is the servitude. For the woman does not have power over her own body, but the husband does. And lest perhaps you think this servitude is not of marriage but of sex: Likewise also the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife does. How great, then, is the necessity of marriage, which subjects even the stronger to another! For by mutual necessities each serves the other. Nor is it permitted to the temperate one to withdraw his head from the yoke, since he must serve the other's incontinence.

You were bought, he says, with a price; be not made the servants of men. You see how plain is the definition of marriage as servitude. It is not I who say this, but the Apostle: nor even he, but Christ who spoke in him. And he defined this servitude, note well, concerning good spouses. For above you have it thus: The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife: and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the believing husband. And below: But if the unbeliever depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. If, then, good marriage is servitude, what is bad marriage, when spouses cannot sanctify each other, but only destroy each other?

70. False Teachers Who Impose Unbearable Burdens

But, as we exhort widows to the grace of virtue, so also we call women to ecclesiastical discipline; because the Church consists of all sorts. Christ's flock, though it be one, yet in some feeds on solid food, in others is still nourished with milk; and against these must be guarded those wolves that lurk in sheep's clothing, holding out a semblance of abstinence, but provoking to the foulness of intemperance. For since they know that the burdens of chastity are heavy—since they themselves cannot touch them even with their fingertips—they exact from others beyond measure, though they themselves cannot keep even the measure, but collapse beneath an unjust burden. For the measure of the load ought to be proportioned to the measure of the bearer, otherwise the imposed burden becomes a ruin, where the carrier's weakness lies; for even infants' throats are choked by too solid food.

71. Let Each Weigh Her Own Strength

And therefore, just as the number of bearers is measured by the strength of the not-few, and yet no prescription is laid upon the stronger from the weakness of others, but to each is left free how much of the load he wishes to undertake, the reward growing in proportion to the increase of virtue: so also for women no snare is to be cast, no burden of heavier abstinence beyond their strength is to be undertaken; but it must be left to each to weigh herself, not compelled by any authority of precept, but called forth by the increase of grace. And therefore to different virtues a different reward is set forth. Nor is one thing censured that another may be preached: but all are preached, that whatever is better may be preferred.

72. Marriage Honorable, Virginity More Honorable

Marriage, then, is honorable, but integrity is more honorable; for he who gives his virgin in marriage does well: and he who does not give her, does better. What, then, is good is not to be avoided: what is better is to be chosen. Thus it is not imposed, but preferred. And therefore the Apostle rightly said: Concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord, but I give counsel. For a commandment is laid upon subjects, counsel is given to friends. Where there is commandment, there is law: where there is counsel, there is grace. Commandment, that it may call back to nature: counsel, that it may summon on to grace. And therefore the law was given to the Jews, but grace has been reserved for the more chosen. The law, that it might call back, by the terror of punishment, to the observance of nature those departing from the bounds of nature through eagerness for sin: but grace, that it might call the chosen on, both by zeal for good things and also by rewards set before them.

73. Precept and Counsel in the Gospel's Rich Young Man

Behold for you the distinction between commandment and counsel, if you recall him to whom in the Gospel it was first prescribed that he should not commit murder, should not commit adultery, should not bear false witness; for commandment exists there where there is punishment for sin. But indeed, when he had recalled that he had fulfilled the commandments of the law, counsel is given to him, that he sell all things, and follow the Lord; for these things are not enjoined by commandment, but are offered by way of counsel. For there is a twofold form of instruction: one preceptive, the other voluntary. Whence also the Lord in one place says: Thou shalt not kill—where he commands; in another: If thou wilt be perfect, sell all that thou hast. Therefore that is free from commandment, to which is left to choice.

74. The Faithful Servant and the Reward of Grace

And so those who have fulfilled the commandment can say: We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which we ought to do. The virgin does not say this, nor does he say it who has sold his goods: but rather he awaits rewards laid up, as it were, as the holy apostle who says: Behold, we have left all things, and have followed thee; what shall we have therefore? Not as an unprofitable servant who has done what he ought did he say he had done: but as a servant profitable to his lord, who multiplied by seeking gains the talents entrusted to him, well conscious of the reward of faith and virtue, and secure of his merits, he awaits it. And therefore to him, with the rest, it is said: You who have followed me in the regeneration, when the Son of man shall sit in the seat of his majesty, you also shall sit upon twelve seats, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

But indeed to him who had kept the talent, though rewards are promised, yet smaller ones, saying: Because thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will set thee over many things. Faith, then, is from what is owed; mercy is in the reward. He who believed well, that he might be believed, has merited it: he who gave well, since he sought not his own, has obtained what is heavenly.

75. The Three Kinds of Eunuchs

Therefore no precept is given here, but counsel is given; for chastity is a precept, but perfect integrity is a counsel: But not all receive this saying, but those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who were born so from their mother’s womb; in whom it is the necessity of nature, not the virtue of chastity, that works upon men. And there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs; by will, indeed, not by necessity. And there are eunuchs who were made so by men. And therefore in these there is great grace of continence; because it is the will, not weakness, that makes one continent. For it is fitting that the perfect keep intact the office of the divine work. Nor perhaps is it a small thing for them not to be held by the slipperiness of the body; for if the palm of undergoing this contest has been taken away, the very material of danger has also been taken away: and although they cannot be crowned, yet they cannot be conquered.

They have other kinds of virtues by which they ought to commend themselves, if faith be firm, mercy flowing forth, avarice foreign to them, grace frequent. But in these there is no fault; because it comes of ignorance of the deed.

76. Against Cutting Off the Flesh Instead of Conquering It

Not the same is the case of those who use the sword upon themselves, which we have not without cause deplored; for there are those who set it in the place of virtue, to restrain fault by the sword. Of whom, although we do not wish to pronounce our own judgment, though there are decrees of the elders; let them nevertheless consider, lest anyone draw this into a profession of weakness, not into a glory of firmness. Therefore let no one so serve as a soldier that he may sometime be conquered: nor let him use the service of his foot who dreads the danger of walking; nor direct the office of his eye who fears the fall of concupiscence. But what does it profit to cut off the flesh, when fault lies even in the very look? For he who has looked upon a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. And she who has likewise looked upon a man with lust commits adultery.

It behooves us therefore to be chaste, not weak; to have modest eyes, not feeble ones.

77. Eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven

No one, therefore, as many suppose, ought to cut himself off, but rather to conquer; for the Church receives victors, not the vanquished. And why should I use arguments, when the form of the apostolic precept is at hand? For thus you have it: I would that they were even cut off who trouble you! For why is the occasion of the crown and the exercise of virtue taken away from a man, who was born for praise, prepared for victory, who is rather able to castrate himself by the virtue of the soul? For there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven.

78. The Just Balance of Commandments and Counsels

But this too is not commanded to all, but is required of all. For indeed he who gives commandments ought always to keep the measure of his decrees: and he who distributes weights ought to preserve the equity of the balance: For a false balance is an abomination to the Lord. There is therefore a lesser and a greater weight: but the Church receives neither; For a greater and a lesser weight, and double measures, both are unclean in the sight of the Lord. There are weights which wisdom divides; and it divides so as to weigh the virtue and strength of each. And therefore it says: He that can take it, let him take it.

79. Paul's Balance of Marriage and Continence

Let it be granted that the Creator of all made the affections of individuals to be varied; and therefore he provoked virtue by rewards, he did not bind weakness by chains. That teacher of the nations knows this too, the good charioteer of our morals, and, as it were, a governor of our inward affections, who had learned from himself that the law of the members fights against the law of the mind; yet he knows that this same law yields to the grace of Christ, knows, I say, that the various assaults of minds resist it; and therefore he neither so pressed the exhortation to integrity as to abolish the grace of marriage, nor so preferred marriage as to extinguish the pursuits of integrity.

But beginning from the persuasion to continence, he descends to the remedies for incontinence: and though he had shown the prize of the heavenly calling to the stronger, yet he suffered no one to fail on the way; so applauding the former as not to despise those who follow; for he too had learned that the Lord Jesus ministered to some barley bread, lest they fail on the way, and to others his own body, that they might press on to the kingdom.

80. Paul's Counsel, Not Command, on the Present Necessity

Nor did the Lord himself impose a precept, but invited the will: nor did the Apostle establish a precept, but gave counsel. But he confesses that this human counsel does not have the measure of human strength as its own, but that the gift of divine mercy has been conferred upon him; that he might faithfully know how to prefer the first things and arrange the second. And therefore he says, I think—not I ordain—but I think it good on account of the present necessity.

81. The Marriage Bond as a Burden, Not a Fault

The marriage bond, then, is not to be avoided as if it were a fault, but declined as a burden of necessity. For the law bound the wife, that in labors and in sorrow she should bring forth children, and that her turning should be to her husband, so that he should rule over her. Therefore it is the married woman, not the widow, who is bound to labors and sorrows in the bearing of children: and it is she alone who is joined in wedlock, not the virgin, who is subjected to the dominion of a husband. Of all these things the virgin is free, who has pledged her love to the Word of God, who awaits with lamps the bridegroom of blessing, the light of good will being kindled. And therefore she is invited by counsels, not bound by chains.

82. The Apostle's Repeated Counsel to Widows

But neither does the widow receive a precept, but counsel: and this counsel not given once, but often repeated. For first he said: It is good for a man not to touch a woman; and again: I would that all men were even as I myself; and thirdly: It is good for them if they so remain, even as I; and fourthly: It is good on account of the present necessity: and that this is pleasing to the Lord, and that this is honorable: and finally he determined, not by his own counsel alone, but even by the Spirit of God, that perseverance in widowhood is more blessed. Who then would refuse the kindness of such a counsellor, who both gives free rein to the will, and urges upon others that which he had proved by his own experience to be useful, not easy to grasp, nor too fastidious to be equalled?

Who then would refuse to become holy in body and in spirit, when above the labor is the reward, above the exercise is the grace, above the work is the recompense?

83. The Church's Field of Varied Fruits

And I say this not to cast a snare upon others, but that I, the laborer of the field entrusted to me, may behold this field of the Church fruitful, now blooming with the flower of integrity, now strong with the gravity of widowhood, now overflowing also with the fruits of marriage. For although diverse, yet they are the fruits of one field: nor are the lilies of the gardens as numerous as the ears of the crops, the spikes of the harvests, and the many stretches of fields fitted for receiving seeds, as they are struck by the fruits of the fallow land when rendered.

84. The Retired Soldier and Farmer as Figures of Widowhood

Good, then, is widowhood, which is so often praised in the apostolic judgment; for this is the teacher of faith, the teacher of chastity. Whence also those who venerate the adulteries and disgraces of their gods have established penalties for celibacy and widowhood; so that, jealous of crimes, they might penalize the pursuits of virtue: under the pretext, indeed, by which they sought fecundity, but with the aim by which they abolished the purpose of chastity. For the soldier, his term of service completed, lays down his arms, and, the office he bore relinquished, is sent back, weary, to his own fields; that he himself might obtain rest from the labors of a life spent in exercise, and might, by the hope of future rest, make others more ready to undertake the labors.

The farmer too, grown weary, entrusts the plow-handle to be turned by others, and, weighed down by youthful labor, exercises the providence of an elder’s care: he finds it easier to prune the vine than to press it, so as to check the burgeoning luxuriance and cut down the growing wantonness with the pruning-hook, teaching that a certain chastity of sparing fruitfulness is to be sought even in vines.

85. The Widow as a Veteran of Chastity

Like to this is the widow, as it were a veteran of chastity with her service completed, even though she lays down the arms of marriage: yet she governs the peace of the whole household; even though idle from bearing burdens, yet provident for the marrying of the younger; with the gravity of age she arranges where the cultivation is more useful, where the fruit more abundant, whose union is more fitting. So if the field is entrusted rather to the more mature than to the younger, why should you think the married woman more useful than the widow? But if the persecutors of the faith were persecutors also of widowhood, surely for those who follow the faith widowhood is not to be fled as a punishment, but to be held fast as a reward.

86. The Weak Case for Remarrying to Have Children

But perhaps to some it may seem that marriages ought to be repeated for the sake of undertaking children. But if the pursuit of children is the cause of marrying, surely where the fruit of children already is, the cause does not apply. And yet, of what counsel is it to wish to try again a fruitfulness vainly attempted, or to undergo again an bereavement you have already endured? For this is the cause of remarrying for those who have no children.

87. The Renewed Grief of a Second Bereavement

Does she, then, who has borne children and lost them (for hers is the greater struggle, who has the hope of bearing)—does she not, I say, seem to herself, amid the very covenants of repeated marriages, to be tracing again the funerals of the children she has lost? Will she not, about to suffer again what she repeats, shudder at the very tombs of her hopes, the images of the bereavements she has undergone, the din of lamentations? Or when the night is led forth with torches lit, does she not think a funeral procession rather than a bridal chamber is being prepared? Why, then, daughter, do you seek again the sorrows you fear, rather than seek the children you no longer hope for? If the sorrow is grievous, its cause is to be shunned, not sought.

88. Stepchildren as Rivals to One's Own Children

For what counsel shall I offer to you, who have children? What cause have you for marrying? Perhaps an error of levity, and the habit of intemperance, and the consciousness of a wounded heart drive you. But counsel is given to the sober, not to the drunken: and therefore my speech is addressed to a free conscience, for whom either course is open. Let the wounded have a remedy, the honorable have counsel. You, I say, daughter, what are you contriving? Why do you seek foreign heirs, when you have your own? You do not desire the children you have, but a servitude you do not have. For this is true servitude, in which love is more broken, which the pledge of undeflowered virginity does not commend, nor the first age full of holy modesty and grace: where offense is graver, insolence more suspect, harmony rarer, than where love is not rooted by long time, nor beauty, strong with years, conciliating.

Troublesome is such devotion, that you should fear to love your children, blush to look upon your children; and thence should arise a cause of discord, from where mutual love is wont to soothe the affections of parents. You wish to beget children, not future brothers to your own, but adversaries to your sons. What is it, then, to beget other children, except to despoil the children you have; from whom alike are taken away both the offices of devotion and the increase of their means?

89. The Patriarchs' Fidelity to a First Marriage

Divine law has bound spouses together by heavenly authority, and mutual love remains hard to dissolve. For he took a rib from the man, and formed a woman: that he might join them to one another, saying: And the two shall be in one flesh. This he said not of second marriages, but of first: for neither did Eve receive a second husband, nor did holy Church acknowledge a second husband: For this is a great mystery, in Christ and in the Church: and therefore it must be kept. But neither did Isaac know any wife but Rebecca, nor did Abraham the father bury any wife but Sarah.

90. Jacob's Enduring Love for His First Betrothed

For in holy Rachel there was more the figure of a mystery than the order of marriage. And yet in her too we have something we can refer to the grace of a first marriage; for the one whom he first had as betrothed, he loved more, nor did the deceit exclude his affection, nor did the intervention of another marriage abolish the love of his betrothed. Thus the holy patriarch has taught us how much deference we owe to first marriages, since he himself paid such deference even to a first betrothal. Take heed, then, daughters, lest you both fail to keep the grace of marriage, and increase its troubles.