On the Fall of a Consecrated Virgin

5. Where to Begin the Virgin's Reproach

To you, then, let my speech now be addressed, you who are the head and cause of these evils, you who, wretched in so many ways, have lost even the name along with the glory of virginity; for it is a wicked thing to call one Susanna who is not chaste, it is not lawful to name a lily that which you are not. Where shall I begin? What shall I say first, what last? Shall I recall the good things you have lost, or bewail the evils you have found?

6. The Virgin's Former Radiance and Purity

You were a virgin in the paradise of God, indeed among the flowers of the Church: you were the bride of Christ, you were the temple of God, you were the dwelling-place of the Holy Spirit. And when I say so many times you were, it is necessary that you groan as many times; because you are not what you were. You used to walk in the Church like that dove, of whom it is written: The wings of the dove covered with silver, and her back parts with the color of gold. You shone like silver, you glittered like gold, when you came forward with a sincere conscience. You were as a star shining in the hand of the Lord, fearing no wind, no clouds of war.

7. The Sudden Change From Bride to Harlot

What is this sudden turning? What is this abrupt change? From a virgin of God you have become the corruption of Satan, from the bride of Christ an accursed harlot, from the temple of God a den of uncleanness, from the dwelling of the Holy Spirit a hovel of the devil. You who used to walk with confidence like a dove, now hide in darkness like a lizard. You who shone like gold on account of the honor of virginity, have now become viler than the mud of the streets, so that you are even trodden underfoot by the feet of the unworthy. You who had been a star shining in the hand of the Lord, as though falling from the height of heaven, your light is extinguished, and you have been turned into a coal.

8. Lost Hope and the Departed Spirit

Woe to you, wretched one, and again woe, who for the sake of a brief hour's luxury have lost such great goods! What hope have you left yourself with Christ the Lord, whose members you have taken and made the members of a harlot? Why should the Holy Spirit visit you, when you have driven Him away, who keeps Himself far even from unclean thoughts?

9. Human Examples of Unshaken Chastity

But let us come to human examples, that through them divine things may be known. Consider what holy man, or what holy woman, would not shrink from your approach: open your eyes, if you can; lift up your brow, if you dare: look confidently upon any of the saints. Does not the conscience of your deed weigh down and press your face like lead? Do not darkness and dread gloom swirl before your eyes? Do not fear and trembling shake your soul and your limbs?

10. Facing the Apostles, Prophets, and Angels

If, then, you cannot look upon men set in the flesh, and subject to some fault, buried as you are in so grievous a confusion, what will you do in the presence of the chaste apostles? What will you do in the presence of Elijah, Daniel, and the whole army of the prophets? What will you do in the presence of John? What will you do in the presence of Mary, Thecla, and Agnes, and the immaculate chorus of purity? What, finally, in the presence of the holy angels? Will you not be struck as by lightning bolts and consumed by the splendor and brightness of the undefiled?

11. Thecla's Answer on the Frailty of Flesh

But perhaps you will say: I could not endure it, because I bore about a frail flesh. Blessed Thecla, with her innumerable companions, will answer you: We too were clothed in the same flesh, and yet neither could the frailty of the flesh maim the full resolve of our chastity, nor could the savagery of tyrants cast it down through various torments. In truth, the flesh cannot be corrupted, unless the mind has first been corrupted. The soul, then, will remain in guilt, which goes before the flesh in lust.

12. Susanna's Answer on Suffered Violence

But you will say: I did not want this evil, I suffered violence. That most steadfast Susanna, whose name you falsely bear, will answer you: I, placed between two elders, between two indeed judges of the people, set alone amid the woods of paradise, could not be conquered; because I did not even wish it. You, by one most foolish young man, and in the middle of the city, how could you have suffered violence, unless it was because you willingly chose to be defiled? Who, in the end, heard your cries? Who perceived any struggle? But to pass over these things, certainly after the violence was inflicted you ought to have disclosed the crime, if not to others, at least to your parents or your sisters; for there would have been an excuse for your misfortune, there would have been a full purging of conscience, if you had brought the enemy of your chastity out into the open.

13. The Excuse of Shame and Repeated Sin

But perhaps you blushed, lest many should know you had been violated. And what did you fear where there was no cause for fear, unless it was that by keeping silent you might the more often join yourself with the adulterer in the crime? But grant that shame kept you from confessing; what do you say of the second union, what of the third, what of the frequent commerce of foulness? Let it cease, let it now cease, this pretense of violence, let this plea of shame cease; where so many times you offered those members dedicated to Christ to be polluted by your own flesh with a most wicked adulterer.

14. The Physician's Horror at the Wound

My mind shudders, it shudders, my spirit wastes away, when I come to the very entrance of the crime. For even a physician, however strong of mind he may be, when he cuts the wound more deeply, will yet, I think, feel some measure of horror. Alas, lost woman, do you now understand that every way of excuse is closed to you on every side? Do you now perceive how much evil, both in flesh and in soul, wicked lust has brought upon you?

15. The Grief of Father, Mother, and Siblings

This shame from you your father had not expected, who reckoned you as a singular glory to himself. This mourning, and these tears springing from you, your mother had not believed would be born to her, she who consoled the groaning of her childbirth through your virginity. Your brothers, your sisters, did not expect this disgrace from you, all of whom you have gravely wounded, as it were with one sword, by your crime.

16. Better Death Than a Life of Shame

If you had died the common lot of all, your parents would have wept for you a little while out of longing: but they would have rejoiced greatly, because they had sent before them an unblemished virgin, a living victim to the Lord, indeed a propitiation for sins. But now they mourn you dead, and not dead: they lament you living, and not living: dead indeed to the glory of virginity, living in the disgrace of shame.

17. Parents' Anguish Over a Freely Made Vow

Your father is angered at his own flesh, from which you were sown: your mother curses her womb, from which you unhappily came forth into this light. And yet they find no measure for their grief, unless this alone plainly seems to be their comfort, that neither your father compelled, nor your mother forced you to profess virginity, which you professed of your own accord and by your own will. For I know that, when your father set before you many difficulties, when he impressed upon you how arduous the path of preserving virginity is, you not only resisted stubbornly, but also spoke of terrible revelations given to you.

18. The Serpent's Poison and Growing Guilt

To the degree, then, that they hoped for a reward for themselves because they did not resist your resolve, to that same degree understand, wretched woman, that the weight of judgment grows for you; because you did not keep what you promised of your own will. With what coils has that most wicked serpent bound you? With what poisons has he infected you, he who deceived Eve, so as to strike you with such blindness, to bring such forgetfulness upon your soul?

19. Remembering the Vow Made at Veiling

Do you not remember the holy day of the Lord's resurrection, on which you offered yourself at the divine altar to be veiled? In so great, so solemn a gathering of the Church of God, amid the shining lights of the newly baptized, among the candidates of the heavenly kingdom, you had come forward as one about to be wedded to a King. Do you not remember what address was made to you on that day: Hearken, O daughter, and see, and incline your ear: forget your people, and your father's house; and the King shall greatly desire your beauty; for he is the Lord your God? Remember, then, how great a people gathered for the marriage of your Bridegroom and Lord. You ought to have kept the faith which you pledged before so many witnesses, ever to think of Him to whom you had promised your virginity. It would have been easier for you to pour out your blood with your spirit, than to lose your chastity.

20. The Veiling Ceremony and Its Witnesses

When these things had then been said on that day of your consecration, and many proclamations made concerning your chastity, you were covered with the sacred veil; when all the people, subscribing your dowry, not with ink, but with the spirit, cried out together, Amen. I am overcome with tears, when I recall these things: I am pierced with goads, when I consider these human examples. For if, among ten witnesses, when a betrothal has been made and the marriage consummated, any woman joined to a mortal husband does not commit adultery without great danger; what of her who, amid countless witnesses of the Church, in the presence of angels and the hosts of heaven, has her spiritual union dissolved through adultery? I do not know whether a death or a punishment worthy of her can even be conceived.

21. Refuting Better to Marry Than to Burn

Someone will say: It is better to marry than to burn. This saying pertains to her who has not made a vow, to her who is not yet veiled. But she who has pledged herself to Christ, and has received the sacred veil, has already married, has already been joined to an immortal husband. And now, if she should wish to marry under the common law of wedlock, she commits adultery, she is made a handmaid of death. If this is so, what must be said of her who is defiled by hidden and stealthy shame, and pretends to be what she is not? A virgin in habit, not a virgin in deed: twice an adulteress, both in act and in appearance.

22. The Apostle's Warning Against Fornication

But I return again to you, who, having suffered forgetfulness of such great goods, have become the receptacle of such great evils. How did it not come to your mind, in that shameful act, the virginal habit, your going forward into the Church among the choirs of virgins? How was it that the light of the vigils did not strike your eyes; that the singing of spiritual hymns did not pierce your ears; that the power of the heavenly readings did not stir your mind; especially when the Apostle cried out to you above all: Flee fornication; for every sin that a man commits is outside the body; but he who commits fornication sins against his own body? And when he says, "against his own body," he yet shows that he sins against Christ. For he adds: Do you not know that your members are the temple of the Holy Spirit, which you have from God, and you are not your own; for you were bought with a great price, glorify God and bear Him in your body.

And again he says: But fornication, and all uncleanness, let it not even be named among you, as becomes saints. And, setting aside all flattery, the Apostle fixes his sentence: Know this, he says, understanding, that no fornicator, or unclean person, or covetous man shall be an heir in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

23. Forgetfulness Leading to the Abyss

Did not these things, so great and so terrible, come to your mind, when your members were being sought for that wicked deed? But a deadly forgetfulness plunged you as into some deep abyss, and accursed lust led you as a captive.

24. The Church Wall's Inscribed Precepts

Should you not have remembered even that place, set apart by boards, in which you used to stand in the Church, to which religious matrons and noblewomen ran eagerly, seeking your kisses, they who were holier and worthier than you? Should you not have remembered even those precepts which the very wall, inscribed before your eyes, impressed upon you: The woman and the virgin are divided: she who is not married is concerned about the things of the Lord, how she may be holy in body and in spirit. But you turned the saying to its opposite, so thinking, so acting that you were holy neither in body nor in spirit: in body, indeed, by fornicating; in spirit, by feigning virginity.

25. The Rumor of Three Years Before

O the shame! Report is wont to follow the deed, but in your case an evil report went before it. For when three years ago a certain rumor and whispering had arisen about you, you kept up a show of sincerity, and publicly demanded in the Church vengeance against your slanderers. What agitations did I endure! What labors did your father undergo on behalf of your reputation, examining each person one by one, binding each to account, that we might come to the author of the infamy! For it was grievous to us, and intolerable to all good people, that anything shameful should be said or believed of a virgin of God.

26. Feigned Virginity Exposed by God

Neither did you fear this, nor did you keep it before your eyes; that you might not become a joy to your enemies, and make hostile those who were laboring on behalf of your good name. Very bold, very rash you were, in that your own conscience did not terrify you; but, feigning virginity, you supposed that you could deceive even God. But he who said, “Nothing is hidden that shall not be revealed”; and, “You,” he says, “have done it in secret; but I will do this thing in the sight of all”. He who does not lie has brought your stolen crime into the open, and has laid bare, in the sight of the sun, the works of your darkness.

27. Everything Forgotten, Corruption Embraced

Oh, whatever speech may pretend, harsher things come to mind; and wishing to moderate itself, it finds no measure. You have forgotten your purpose, forgotten your parents, forgotten the whole Church, forgotten the glory of virginity, forgotten the honor of your rank, forgotten even the promise of the kingdom, forgotten the terrible judgment: you have embraced corruption, you have brought forth the fruit of confusion; and its end is a most cruel death, and everlasting ruin.

28. Diligent Pastoral Care Proves Fruitless

And certainly you have no ground for complaint against our negligence; for whatever pertains to the office of a pastor was not withheld from you or from anyone. Spiritual affection was shown, and holy admonition was not lacking. Having forgotten your father’s house, as it is written, you passed over into the monastery of virgins. Placed among so many, I do not say only that you ought to have been safe, had you wished; but you could even have been a guardian to others. But in vain were these and other provisions made.

29. The Parable of Wasted Seed

In vain I set forth the hymn of virginity, by which you might sing both the glory of the resolve and the keeping of it likewise. I sowed by the wayside, I sowed among thorns, I sowed on stony ground; for either the birds carried away my words from your heart, that is, the demons, or they were choked by your evil thoughts, or they withered from the excessive heat of lust. Woe is me, for where I thought to build gold, silver, precious stones, I am found to have labored with wood, hay, stubble, materials destined to burn! I too will say with the prophet: Woe is me, for I have become as one who gathers stubble in the harvest (Micah 7:1)!

30. Others Wounded by Her Disgrace

And indeed, if you had brought loss upon yourself alone, there would be sorrow indeed, but perhaps tolerable. But now how many souls have you wounded by your crime, how many souls have you made repent of their own resolve because of you! How many lips even of the faithful have been defiled, blaspheming the way of the Lord! The heathen have opened their mouth against us: against the holy Church the synagogue of the Jews has exulted through your disgrace.

31. The Millstone and the Growing Guilt

But if he who shall scandalize one is to be cast into the sea with a millstone tied about him, what do you pronounce of yourself, by whose crime every soul has been wounded, and the name of the Lord has been blasphemed among the nations? Is it not so that as often as it is said, “O virgins,” so often is the heap of your iniquity increased? Behold, you lie wounded; behold, you lie prostrate.

32. No Medicine for So Great a Wound

I desire to help, but I am not able to bring aid; for my whole head is in pain, and my whole heart in sorrow: from the feet even to the head, as Isaiah says, there is no plaster to apply. Your infirmity has excluded every aid of human medicine. And although both the good and the bad, moved by just indignation, judge you worthy of every ruin, worthy to be tormented with every kind of torture, to be punished with death, or burned with fires; yet I, who know that heavier torments are reserved for the wicked, and that impious souls await torments without end, not temporal indeed, but eternal—I wish other torments to be inflicted upon you, torments that will indeed profit you, not destroy your soul.

33. God's Call Through Ezekiel to Repent

Therefore, according to the divine sentence I will give counsel; for the one and only remedy to be tried is that which the divine voice extends to the wretched through Ezekiel: “I do not desire,” he says, “the death of the sinner, but rather that he be converted, and live”. And again after these words the Lord says, I have said: “Return to me. Is there no balm in Gilead, or is there no physician there? Why then has not the health of the daughter of my people gone up?” These sayings surely savor of repentance; these are the sentences of God calling sinners to repentance: for penitence is necessary to the fallen, just as medicines are necessary to the wounded.

34. Penitence Must Match the Crime's Weight

But how great, do you think, and what sort of penitence is necessary? One that either equals the crimes, or certainly exceeds them. See therefore whether this is a simple sin of adultery, or whether it be twofold on account of that killing which is said to have been done in secret: and according to the weight of conscience the magnitude of penitence must be exhibited. Penitence, then, must be performed not in words but also in deed. And this is so done, if you set before your eyes from what glory you have fallen, and from what book of life your name has been blotted out; and if you already believe yourself placed near those very outer darknesses, where there will be weeping of eyes and gnashing of teeth without end.

When you have conceived these things in your mind with sure faith, as indeed it is, that the transgressing soul must necessarily be delivered to the torments of Tartarus and the fires of Gehenna, and that no other remedy has been appointed after the one baptism than the solace of penitence—be content to undergo whatever affliction, whatever labor, provided you are freed from eternal punishments.

35. Prescribed Acts of Bodily Penance

Therefore, thinking these things over with yourself, and turning them over in your mind, be yourself a harsher judge of your own deed. First of all, every care for this life must be put to death in you, and, reckoning yourself as it were dead, as indeed you are, consider how you might come back to life. Then you must take up mourning garb, and each part of mind and body must be punished with fitting chastisement. Let the hair be cut off, which through vain glory furnished occasion for luxury. Let the eyes flow with tears, which did not look upon a man in simplicity. Let the face grow pale, which once blushed shamelessly. Finally, let the whole body be wasted with hardships and fastings, and let it, sprinkled with ashes and covered with sackcloth, shudder at itself—the body that took wicked pleasure in its own beauty. Let the heart be melting like wax, disquieting itself with fastings, and winnowing itself with thoughts, as to why it was overturned by the enemy.

Let the senses also be tormented, because, having dominion over the members of the body, it yielded to an evil rule.

36. The Examples of David and Nineveh

Such a life, such an act of penitence, if it be persevering, may dare to hope, if not for glory, at least for a respite from punishment; for God says: “Turn to me, and I will turn to you. Turn with all your heart, in fasting, and in weeping, and in mourning; rend your hearts, and not your garments; for he is gracious and merciful”. So converted, that great David was justified; so Nineveh, that sinning city, escaped the destruction hanging over it. Therefore if a sinner does not spare himself, he will be spared by God. And if he compensates in this small span of life for the eternal punishments of Gehenna to come, he will free himself from the eternal judgment.

37. Concealment Makes the Sin Graver

A great wound needs deep and prolonged medicine: a great crime has need of a great satisfaction. For there is no doubt that the offense is lighter where a man of his own accord confesses his sin and repents; but where he hides his evils, and is uncovered against his will, and published unwillingly—that is a graver crime. And this, indeed, you will not be able to deny has befallen you. And therefore you must grieve the more strongly, because your sin is the stronger.

38. Persevere in Penitence Until Judgment

If sinful men could perceive in their minds what judgment God will render upon the world, and if the human mind were not scattered by worldly vanity, nor weighed down by unbelief, they would most gladly endure for the present whatever and however great a torment, even if life were longer, provided only they might not fall into those punishments of the eternal fire. But you, who have already entered upon the contest of penitence, persevere, wretched one: cling strongly, as to a plank amid shipwreck, hoping through it to be delivered from the depth of your crimes. Cling to penitence to the very end of life, nor presume that pardon will be given you by any human day; for he deceives you who would wish to promise you this. For as to those things in which you have sinned properly against the Lord, it is fitting that you await the remedy from him alone, on the day of judgment.

39. Belshazzar's Sacrilege and Hers Compared

But what shall I say of you, son of the serpent, minister of the devil, violator of the temple of God, who in one crime have committed two offenses—adultery, to be sure, and sacrilege? Sacrilege plainly, in that you have polluted with mad rashness a vessel offered to Christ, dedicated to the Lord. Belshazzar, that king of the Persians, who presumed to drink with his friends and concubines from the vessels of the Lord, which had also been taken from the temple at Jerusalem by his father—he was struck that very night by the hand of an angel and punished with a cruel death: what do you suppose is due to you, alike ruined and a ruiner, who have impiously profaned, sacrilegiously polluted, the rational vessel consecrated to Christ, sanctified to the Holy Spirit—forgetful of your own resolve, and a despiser of the divine judgment? It would have been altogether better for you never to have been born, than to have been born so, that Gehenna should claim you as its own proper son.

40. Counsel to Seek the Prison of Penitence

And although the very consciousness of your crime drives you headlong in various directions (for the wicked man flees though no man pursue him), although dread images of your sin terrify you even in sleep, not only when awake; nevertheless, lest any remedy be denied by the pastor to a diseased or dying sheep, I give this counsel. Seek of your own accord the prison of penitence, bind your inward parts with chains, torment your soul with groans and fastings; seek the help of the saints, lie beneath the feet of the elect; that an impenitent heart may not treasure up wrath for you against the day of wrath and of the just judgment of God, who will render to each according to his works. Do not place yourself among the number of those whom Paul mourns: “Who have sinned before, and have not done penance for the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed”.

41. The Example of Lot Amid Sodom

Nor should you flatter yourself with the multitude of similar sinners, and say, “I have not done this alone, I have many companions”; but consider again that a multitude of companions does not make crimes go unpunished. For in Sodom and Gomorrah, and in all five cities, countless peoples indeed dwelt, and all alike who dealt with their bodies lustfully were consumed together by showers of fire: but Lot alone escaped from that inevitable conflagration, because he had kept himself a stranger to that turpitude.

42. Awaiting the Judgment Seat of Christ

Shut out, then, even now, unhappy one, the blandishments of the serpent from your heart, and by mourning and continual weeping, while that shadowy soul yet dwells in your unclean body, acquire for yourself a remedy against the day of need, always having before your eyes the sentence of the Apostle: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that every one may receive the proper things of his body, according to what he has done, whether good or evil”.

43. Reciting the Fiftieth Psalm in Sorrow

Who shall comfort you, virgin daughter of Sion? For your ruin is great like the sea. Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord: lift up your hands to him for the remedy of your sins. Take up, then, lamentation. And first of all, let not one day pass without the fiftieth psalm; for it was sung amid such a business: and run through it with tears and groaning, even to that verse: “A contrite and humbled heart God does not despise”.

44. A Lament of Tears and Darkness

Moreover, pour out also this lamentation, not without compunction of heart, in the sight of God the judge: “Who will give water to my head, and to my eyes a fountain of tears”, that I may weep for the wounds of my soul? “My feast days are turned into mourning, and my songs into lamentation”: the sound of hymns has departed, and the gladness of psalms, and in their place has come the gnashing of teeth and the weeping of eyes. “I was dumb, and was humbled, and kept silence from good things, and my sorrow was renewed. My heart grew hot within me, and in my meditation a fire shall be kindled. Fear and trembling have come upon me, and darkness has covered me”. “The deep has closed round about me”; at last “my head went down to the cuttings off of the mountains”.

45. Confessing a Sin Worse Than Sodom's

Woe is me, for I have been made like Sodom, and burned like Gomorrah; who shall pity my ashes? I have offended more grievously than Sodom; for she, not knowing the law, had sinned, but I, having received grace, sinned against the Lord. If a man sin against a man, there is one who may intervene: I have sinned against the Lord—whom shall I find as propitiator? I have conceived sorrow, and brought forth iniquity: I have opened a pit and dug it, and have fallen into the ditch which I made. Therefore my sorrow is turned upon my own head, and my iniquity has come down upon my crown. My uncleanness is before my feet: I was not mindful of the last things, and I have fallen miserably.

46. Blotted from the Book of Life

There is none to comfort me. O how bitter is the fruit of luxury! More bitter than gall, more cruel than the sword. How am I become a desolation? I have suddenly failed, I have perished on account of my iniquity, as one rising from sleep; therefore in the city of the Lord my image has been brought to nothing. My name has been blotted out of the book of life, I have become like the night-owl in a dwelling, like the sparrow alone upon a housetop: there is none to comfort me. I look upon my right hand, and see that there is none who knows me. Flight has perished from me, and there is none who seeks after my soul. I have become like a vessel that is lost, I have heard the reproach of all who dwell around me. Woe to that day on which my unhappy mother bore me, and that cruel light received me!

It would have been better for me not to have been born, than thus to become a byword among the nations. Because of me confusion has come upon all the servants of the Lord, and upon those who worthily worship him.

47. Calling All Creation to Mourn

Mourn for me, mountains and hills; mourn for me, springs and rivers; for I am a daughter of weeping. Mourn for me, beasts of the forests, creeping things of the earth, and birds of heaven, and every soul that enjoys life. For you, blessed beasts and birds, are without any fear of the underworld, nor is any account to be rendered after death: upon us remains the cruel punishment of Tartarus, because, having understanding, we transgress; therefore there is no peace for sinners.

48. An Impiety Beyond Ordinary Sin

My sin, my iniquity, are not like the offenses of men; for it is impiety. I promised to keep my flesh a virgin, and having publicly professed chastity, I have lied to the Lord; therefore I have no confidence to call upon the Lord Most High, for the mouth of transgressors is stopped. For the Prophet has sung of my evil, that they who remove themselves far from God shall perish: he destroys every one who goes a-whoring from him. And again: My tongue has cleaved to my jaws, and I am brought down into the dust of death.

49. Crying to God While There Is Time

Yet I will cry to the Lord, while there is still time, while space is given; for in death there is no remembrance, and in hell no one gives confession: O Lord, rebuke me not in thy anger, nor chastise me in thy wrath. For thy arrows have been fastened in me, and there is no soundness in my flesh from the presence of thy wrath: there is no peace for my bones because of my sins. For my iniquities have gone over my head, and like a heavy burden are grown heavy upon me. My sores have festered and grown corrupt, because of my foolishness. I am afflicted with miseries, and bowed down even to the end, I roar from the groaning of my heart. My heart is troubled within me, my strength has forsaken me, and the light of my eyes is not with me.

O God, thou hast rejected me and destroyed me, thou hast shown me hard things, thou hast made me drink the wine of sorrow: I have been cast out from thy sight, no more shall I rise up to thy holy temple, and I have become as one utterly destroyed.

50. God's Power to Raise the Dead

What profit is there in thy blood, while I go down into corruption? Shall you show wonders to the dead, or shall physicians raise them up? It is thy word, thy promise: I desire not the death of the sinner, but his conversion, that he may live: to thee, my God, is my conversion; for thou alone canst renew all things, and callest back souls from the dead. Thou loosest those in fetters: thou, O God, raisest up the broken, givest light to the blind, raisest the dead.

51. The Lost Sheep Pleads for Mercy

I have gone astray like a lost sheep: seek out thy handmaid, lest the cruel wolf devour me. Many say to my soul: There is no salvation for her in her God. But thy counsel is with thee. How many are the days of thy handmaid, when wilt thou execute judgment with me? But enter not into judgment with thy handmaid. My soul has fainted for thy salvation, my eyes have failed unto tears, my glory has been poured out upon the ground. When, looking upon me, wilt thou restore my soul? Because of my iniquity thou hast rebuked me, and hast made my soul waste away like a spider. Remember, O Lord, that I am dust: behold my humility and my labor, and forgive all my sins. Forgive me, that I may be refreshed, before I go hence and shall be no more, for in hell there is no confession.

52. A Closing Prayer for Penitence and Grace

Thou art able, O Lord, to tear my sackcloth and gird me about with gladness: to break the bonds by which I am bound and constrained, thou who didst not spurn Rahab in her uncleanness. Take away thy anger, O Lord, from me, for I have sinned against thee cruelly, until thou justify my cause and bring me forth into the light. God of virtues, grant the effect of penitence, and perseverance in confession; let not the deceiver of the soul harden me. This gift, this grace from thy fountain I desire to be granted me, O God, that I may confess to thee for ever: who livest and reignest in Trinity, world without end. Amen.