The Supper of Cyprian

A certain king by the name of Joel was making a wedding feast in the region of the East, in Cana of Galilee. To this wedding many were invited. Therefore those who had bathed earlier in the Jordan were present at the banquet. Then Naaman gave his recommendation, Amos sprinkled water, James and Andrew brought hay, Matthew and Peter spread it out, Solomon set the table, and all the crowds reclined. But when the place for those reclining was already full, those who arrived later each found a place for himself as best he could.

First of all, therefore, Adam sat in the middle, Eve upon leaves, Cain upon a plough, Abel upon a milking-pail, Noah upon a threshing-floor, Japheth upon bricks, Abraham under a tree, Isaac upon an altar, Lot beside a door, Jacob upon a rock, Moses upon a stone, Elijah upon a skin, Daniel upon a tribunal, Tobias upon a bed, Joseph upon a bushel, Benjamin upon a sack, David upon a little hill, John upon the ground, Pharaoh upon sand, Lazarus upon a plank, Jesus upon a well, Zacchaeus upon a tree, Matthew upon a bench, Rebecca upon a water-jar, Rahab upon tow, Ruth upon stubble, Thecla upon a window-sill, Susanna in a garden, Absalom among branches, Judas upon a money-box, Peter upon a chair, James upon a net, Samson upon a column, Eli upon a seat, Rachel upon a bundle. Paul stood patiently, and Esau grumbled, and Job grieved that he alone sat upon dung. Then Rebecca held out a cloak, Judith a coverlet, Hagar a blanket, and Shem and Japheth covered them.

When the guests had reclined, the first taste of the supper was brought in, and Jonas received gourds, Isaiah herbs, Israel beets, Ezekiel a mulberry, Zacchaeus a sycamore fig, Adam a citron, Daniel lupins, Pharaoh melons, Cain a thistle, Eve figs, Rachel an apple, Ananias a plum, Leah bulbs, Aaron olives, Joseph an egg, Noah grapes, Simeon nuts, Jonas vinegar; Jesus Christ received the sauce. Then Jacob arrived with his sons, and Laban with his daughters, and they sat upon stones. Abraham also came with his household and Moses with the rest of the crowd, and they sat outside. Then the king, looking upon his guests, spoke thus: "Let each one of you come into my wardrobe, and I will give to each his banquet garments." Then some went and received them.

First of all, therefore, Zechariah received a white one, Abraham a sparrow-coloured one, Lot a sulphur-coloured one, Lazarus a linen one, Jonas a sky-blue one, Thecla a flame-coloured one, Daniel a lion-coloured one, John a dining-room one, Adam a skin one, Judas a silver one, Rahab a scarlet one, Herodias a thistle-coloured one, Pharaoh a sea-coloured one, Enoch a sky-coloured one, Hagar a variegated one, David a sinew-coloured one, Elijah an airy one, Eve a tree-coloured one, Job a double-striped one, Isaiah a middle-striped one, Mary a stole, Susanna a chestnut-coloured one, Moses a purple-shell one, Abel a purple one, Levi a broom-coloured one, Tamar a many-coloured one, Azariah a fine-linen one, Aaron a myrrh-coloured one, Judith a hyacinth one, Cain a rust-coloured one, Abiron a black one, Anna a Persian one, Isaac a natural one, Paul a Tarsian one, Peter a workman's one, Jacob a false-genuine one, Jesus a dove-coloured one.

And when he had distributed the garments, the king, looking upon them, spoke thus: "You shall not dine before each of you has performed his appointed service." And so they completed the services appointed to them.

First of all, therefore, Elijah sought fire, Azariah kindled it, Sara held out wood, Jephthah gathered it, Isaac brought it, Joseph cut it up, Jacob opened the well, Zipporah held out hyssop, Daniel stood by the pool, the servants brought water, Rebecca carried the water-jar, Noah brought forth wine, Hagar carried the wine-skin, Judas brought silver, Abraham led up the calf, Rahab bound it, Jesus held out the cord, Elijah bound its feet, Peter handed over the knife, Daniel struck it, Cain killed it, Habakkuk carried it, Absalom hung it up, Elijah stripped off the skin, Hermocrates opened the belly, Tobias hung up the middle parts, Herod shed the blood, Shem cast away the dung, Japheth added water, Elisha washed it, Peleg made the portions, Hosea counted them, Molessadon added salt, Jacob added oil, Antiochus placed it on the fire, Rebecca cooked it, Eve tasted it first. And when all was finished, all sat down again in their places.

Then Saul brought in the loaves, Jesus broke them, Peter handed them to all; Jacob brought in lentils, Esau ate them alone; Habakkuk brought in the broth, Daniel ate it all; Amelsad brought in beans, Mishael tasted them first. But because Isaac had eaten hard-boiled food, and Tobias a roasted fish, Eglon began to make an uproar. Daniel was very hungry, Hermocrates was asking for bread; John was not eating, Moses had tasted nothing, Jesus had fasted, Lazarus was gathering crumbs. The rest, however, held their own portions, which they had received from various huntings. Abraham had veal, Esau venison, Abel lamb, Noah mutton, Samson lion-meat, Elisha bear-meat; yet Benjamin held the largest portion. Afterwards Pharaoh gave loaves, Joseph divided them among all, Herod brought a dish, Rebecca arranged the portions, Jacob brought them in, Noah distributed them to all.

First, therefore, John took the head, Absalom the brain, Aaron the tongue, Samson the jaw, Peter the ear, Leah the eyes, Holofernes the neck, Zechariah the windpipe, Saul the collar, Hagar the shoulders, Jonas the entrails, Tobias the fish's gall, Pharaoh the heart, Isaiah the kidneys, Adam the side, Eve the rib, Mary the flanks, Sara the belly, Elizabeth the womb, Abel the fat, Abraham the thighs, Moses the tail, Lot the legs, Jacob the feet, Ezekiel gathered the bones.

Likewise James and Andrew brought in fish: Jesus therefore took the hake, Moses the mullet, Benjamin the pike, Abel the grey mullet, Eve the moray eel, Adam the pilchard, John the locust, Cain the sword-fish, Absalom the catch, Pharaoh the octopus, Leah the shameful part, Tamar the gilt-head, Hagar the parrot-fish, David the blister-beetle, Joseph the brine-fish, Jeremiah the rock-fish, Lazarus the shad, Judas the sock, Tobias the swallow-fish, Judas the silverling, Herod the cuttlefish, Esau the horned fish, Jonas the grey fish, Jacob the fox-fish, Molessadon the salpa, Isaiah the dentex, Thecla the spider-crab, Noah the raven-fish, Rebecca the red mullet, Goliath the lizard-fish, Mary the sprat, and Samson the lion-fish. Jonas also set out vinegar, Molessadon added salt, Cain dipped in first. And when all was finished, Abel gave fat, Jonathan honey, Abraham milk, Sara mixed it, Jesus made sweet things, Paul served throughout.

But since they had several kinds of wine, Jesus drank raisin-wine, Jonas Massic, Pharaoh Surrentine, Adam skin-wine, Moses Gaditanian, Isaac Cretan, Aaron Adriatic, Zacchaeus arbustine, Thecla arsine, John Alban, Abel Campanian, Mary Signian, Rachel Florentine. Overcome by the fullness of wine, Adam lay sleeping, Noah fell asleep drunk, Lot had drunk enough, Holofernes was snoring, sleep held Jonas, Peter kept watch near the cock, Jesus was roused, Jacob sought to rise, Laban rose first. Then Benjamin mixed the cup, Martha brought it in, Peter drank first. But since Amelsad had drawn off the wine, and Jonas had mixed it badly, Hermippus grumbled, John drank water, Mary asked for wine, Susanna did not consent, Martha carried a full flask, Ishmael was thirsty, Tobias wanted to go, James wanted to drink from another's cup.

And when all had been taken away, Pilate asked for water for his hands, Judas handed it, Martha served, Hermocrates poured it out, Peter held out a towel, Isaiah brought in a lamp, Simeon gave thanks, Anna blessed, Rachel brought in garlands, David held out hyssop, Mary gave ointment, Martha anointed, Adam brought in fruits, Samson held out a honeycomb, David struck the lyre, Mary the timbrel, Jubal led the psaltery, Judith led the dances, Asael sang, Herodias danced, Azariah gave praises, Mambres played more, Isaac caused laughter, Judas held out a kiss, Lot said farewell. And when they wished to depart, the king, looking upon them, spoke thus: "Now celebrate and keep the wedding day in every way, and change your garments, as if making a procession; so go to your homes." The will of the king pleased all; and so first of all Jesus went forth as master, John as guardian, Peter as net-fighter, Pharaoh as pursuer, Nimrod as hunter, Judas as informer, Adam as gardener, Eve as spinner, Cain as robber, Abel as shepherd, Jacob as runner, Zechariah as priest, David as king, Jubal as lyre-player, James as fisherman, Antiochus as cook, Rebecca as water-carrier, Ananias as baker, Thecla as beast-fighter, Molessadon as fool, Solomon as religious man, Martha as servant-girl, Uriah as soldier, Herod as madman, Ham as slave, Tobias as physician, Noah as drunkard, Isaac as laugher, Job as mourner, Daniel as judge, Joseph as craftsman, Tamar as harlot, Rachel as beautiful woman, Leah as hateful woman, Mary as lady, Lot as impious man, Amalek as adversary, Shem as builder, Esau as rustic, Goliath as strong man, Jeroboam as baker.

But since Dinah was quarrelling, Aaron was pouring out water, and Jonas was naked; then Hosea asked the sun that Bathsheba might be dried. When this was done, the king ordered them to come to him; and they came on the next day and offered him gifts. First of all, therefore, Abraham offered a ram, Thecla a bull, Noah a little sheep, Rebecca a camel, Samson a lion, Esau a stag, Jesus a calf, Jacob a beast of burden, Elijah a chariot, Judith a garment, Bathsheba her hair, Isaac wood, Joseph grain, Reuben resin, Abimelech money, Levi pine-cones, Moses a box, Peter a honeycomb, Abigail provisions. But since before the day of the banquet certain things had been taken away from the feast, they were questioned about them by order of the king. For Hagar had wrapped up a multi-coloured strangling-cloth, Rachel a golden seal, Thecla a silver mirror, Benjamin a drinking-cup, Tamar a signet ring, Judith a silken coverlet, David a royal lance, and Abimelech had taken away another man's wife.

Then the king ordered that all who had been at the banquet should be led to torments. When this was done, first the innocent John was beheaded, Abel was killed, Adam was cast out, Zechariah was struck dumb with fear, Jacob fled, Enoch was sought, Abimelech was troubled, Nebuchadnezzar was changed, Abraham made supplication, Elijah was taken away, Dinah was suppressed, Noah was shut in, Lot was thrust out, Jesus was crucified, Daniel was condemned, Susanna was accused, Joseph was bound, Martha was killed, Habakkuk was taken away, Thecla was given to the beasts, Ananias was thrown into the furnace, Samson was bound in chains, Uriah was punished, Paul was scourged, Isaiah was stretched out, Jonas was stripped, Jeremiah was stoned, Tobias was blinded, they did not believe Moses, Abiron was swallowed up, Absalom was hanged, Rebecca was put to shame, Hagar was led away, Pharaoh was rebuked, Dathan was abandoned, Korah was pressed down, Isaac was bound, Nathan was sent, Amalek was convicted;

Judas was cursed, Mambres was dishonoured, Lot was found out, Phinehas was killed, Ophni was dismissed, Eli died in fear, Dinah was violated, Esau was deceived, Saul was bound, Job grieved over what was done, Eve was questioned, Cain cried out "I know not," Peter was held and denied. But since many had a guilty conscience, Rahab was suspicious in the theft, Laban was searching, Susanna was defamed, John was accusing, Rachel was denying, Moses was teaching, Tryphena was weeping, Mary was watching, Onesiphorus was attending, Paul was sorrowful, Jacob was swearing, Pharaoh did not believe, Jeroboam was lying, Susanna was trembling, Rebecca was blushing, Jeremiah was lamenting. Afterwards, when all had been examined, the theft was found with Benjamin, which was in Joseph's knowledge. But after it was proved to the king that Achan son of Carmi alone was guilty of the theft, he ordered him to die and gave him over to all.

Then, seizing the occasion, Moses struck him first of all with his heel, Jacob went to embrace him, Thecla stripped off his garment, Daniel dashed him to the ground, David struck him with a stone, Aaron with a rod, Jesus with a whip, Judas opened him in the middle, Eleazar pierced him through with a lance. Then he ordered that the one who had died should be buried; and Laban sold a field, Abraham bought it, Joseph made a tomb, and Nahor built it, Mary placed spices, Noah embalmed, Pilate wrote the inscription, Judas received the price: when this was done Zechariah cried out rejoicing, Elizabeth was confounded, Mary was amazed, Sara laughed at what was done. And when all was finished, they returned to their homes.